Karaoke Hustler

About

Who doesn't enjoy a crazy night of Karaoke once in a while? Where else can one hear such a mix of styles, levels and attitudes? If nothing else, Karaoke can be a good laugh, or a great opportunity to be the source of laughter (intentionally or not, so I've found). We hope this song (based on a true story) is similarly amusing.

Lyrics

Another Friday night 
we were cutting loose the work week tension
Paige said, "There's nothing going on here,
let's go out and look for some action."
So we went up the hill 
to the neighborhood dive
We found a crowd drinking 
the place was alive

The regulars were there 
Gary-soul man-PeeWee and Alice and Ray
Keith was leaning on the bar
feeling no pain he never remembers my name
Is that Carol smoking out back by the bikes?
Hey Ted let's get a beer I hope that you'll sing tonight

Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend
Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend

On the sticky tables 
among the empty bottles 
and glasses and clutter
(those drinks are stiff)
I look through that giant 
three-ring binder 
for a song that I can render
Eighties or oldies what else do they have?
I can't help but laugh but I don't want to be bad

Cynthia was first to get up and take the mike
Country rock English Spanish she does it all just right
She gets nervous but still she can't wait
To get the crowd rocking before it gets late

Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend
Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend

The crowd kept growing in they came by twos and threes
But she came in alone swaying like a cool cool breeze
She was young charismatic and new to the scene
There was a hush for a moment while we checked out the beauty queen

Ray went up to talk to her, "How you doing tonight?"
She said, "I want to sing a song but I'm so nervous and shy."
Ray said, "Girl, you should do it you know you don't have to be good."
She said, "It matters to me, I'd let loose if only I could."

Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend
Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend

I got back to our table with another round of libations
She was there in my chair flirting she had everyone's attention
On and on she went about wanting to sing
Deb and Paige raced to the bar to get her another drink

Cynthia and Carol commenced to dominate the stage
Carol's voice crackles with madness, growls with rage
She sings a mean Van Halen but she's way too cool
Where she really sparkles is when she sings Tool

Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend
Karaoke weekend karaoke weekend

The place was really rocking, rowdy and loud
The drinks were really flowing, fueling the crowd
My friends had dispersed I knew not to where
I looked at the stage I saw that shy girl up there
Her beauty'd not diminished but it got no reaction
The revelers were in a haze of booze flamed elation

She was ready to sing poised to put on a show
Confident and regal she swayed real slow
She knew what she was doing she really could sing
But by then it was too late no one was listening
She wanted to make a splash but her timing was wrong
She was a star outshined because she waited too long

Karaoke hustler karaoke hustler
Karaoke hustler karaoke hustler
Karaoke hustler karaoke hustler
Karaoke hustler karaoke hustler

On and off the stage she wants to be in the spotlight
If eyes and ears are not on her she doesn't feel right

Personnel

Bass: Casparagus
Guitar: Mitchard
Drums/Bongoes: Carolugula
Voice V1: Abcynthe
Chorus Harmonies: Casparagus
Voice V2: Casparagus
Voice Blues: Carolugula
Voice V3: Mitchard
Voice V4: Casparagus

The Karaoke Singers:
Mitchard(Frank)
Abcynthe(Freddie)
Carolugula(Maynard)
Abcynthe(Protagonist/Paul)
Mitchard/Carolugula: drunken chorus singers
Freesound.org (Bar Noiz): 
Thank You martian!